Dan Savage once observed that “most adult bisexuals, for whatever reason, wind up in opposite-sex relationships.” Whether or not you’re a fan of Savage (or his sometimes dubious takes on bisexuality), the statistics support his assertion: The massive 2013 Pew Research LGBT Survey found 84 percent of self-identified bisexuals in committed relationships have a partner of the opposite sex, while only 9 percent are in same-sex relationships. Because on the surface, the fact that 84 percent of bisexuals eventually wind up in opposite-sex partnerships could appear to support the notion that bisexuality is, as people so often insist, actually either “just a phase” or a stepping-stone on the path to “full-blown gayness.” Knowing that wasn’t true, I decided to investigate.Some of my initial suppositions included internalized homophobia, fear of community and family rejection, and concerns over physical safety.HER’s modern hybrid of dating and social networking is a refreshing break from the pressure to hook-up or fuck off that embodies some competitors.Setting up my HER profile took less than five minutes; I just signed in with Facebook, selected a couple pictures from my various social media feeds and filled out my stats.Although being bisexual doesn’t necessarily mean you’re equally attracted to multiple genders, it does seem feasible that these sorts of concerns could push a person with fluid attractions in the direction deemed more socially acceptable.Although there’s a dearth of research into whether these factors are actually prompting bisexuals to choose relationships that appear “straight” to the outside world, there’s no shortage of research revealing that bisexuals live under uniquely intense pressures within the LGBTQ community: In addition to facing heightened risks for cancer, STIs, and heart disease, bisexuals also experience higher rates of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse, and are significantly more likely to engage in self-harming behaviors or attempt suicide than heterosexuals, gays, or lesbians.I went on to date a number of trans guys, and in my mind, “bi” was also indicative of a gender binary I didn’t believe existed.
It's one reason why so many bisexuals — my ex included — feel so excluded from the LGBT movement.Over the last two years, we’ve seen a few new additions, most notably Find Femmes and Compatible Partners.So If you’ve tried either of those, leave your experience in the comments! HER (formerly Dattch)HER is a fresh, ultra flexible app aimed exclusively at lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, and queer women.Dattch targeted London and other UK cities initially, but is opting for a geofenced city-by-city rollout in the U. Editor’s Note: These 5 apps were Chloe’s choices in 2015 when this article was first featured, as a follow-up to her 2013 review.
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He was a true "50-50" bi guy, a lover of men and women, not an “attention-seeker” or a "halfway-there gay man" or any of the ridiculous and offensive claims people make about bisexuals. This led to his heartache, since he was trying to date me, a gay guy who was not monogamously inclined (and still isn’t), a guy who was too immature to say, “Hey, I’m not really looking for a relationship.” This seems basic, but it's unfortunately still necessary to note in an ongoing effort to counteract this bizarre notion that someone who is attracted to multiple genders will inevitably miss having sex with people of the gender they’re not sleeping with, and cheat. For him, as well as for many others, his claim to bisexuality wasn’t a transitional phase or halfway point between straight and gay.